For the first time in my life I had to ask my parents if I could borrow money, which was a completely sobering experience. I blame bad timing - trip to NY, signing a new lease, overlapping rents, MAINLY not saving enough - but there is nothing that makes you feel more like a kid again than NEEDING something from your parents.
On the other spectrum of life, I’d been seeing someone and things just TODAY got weird. I think I realized what it is I hate the most about dating: things getting lost in translation. Thoughts and feelings have to be computed by the brain and then compartmentalized and then sifted through and by the time the other person gets to hear what you have to say, it was never what was originally intended. As I get older I realize that I have to ask myself “Am I being crazy?” way more often when it comes to dating and emotions and what should and what shouldn’t be said. Because being young and immature can’t hold up as much anymore. Seriously, today was a whirlwind of talking to all my coworkers and seeking their advice, reading aloud text messages, giving back story, listing off my tendencies. Overall, I think I handled it pretty well. I said my piece and wrapped things up neatly.
Today I felt like such a jumbled mess. After discussing matters of money, my mother told me, "Chris, you’re young. You’ll figure things out. You’ll learn." It was the most comforting thing I’ve heard in awhile. It’s one thing to hear sweet nothings from a guy you’re seeing who may not talk to you after the following week, but to hear sound advice like that from your mom was the most edifying part of my day. Maybe month. To know that I’m loved and understood and that mistakes are only part of the process is the definition of comfort.
And to end the day, I found out that I booked a commercial and I’m shooting it on Monday. It has a been a day. Good night and thank you for reading.