As much as I try to distract myself, the reality of the situation creeps back in and the F bomb flashes in my mind like a cheap neon light.

Overheard Conversation in Starbucks

Tonight was spent with old friends and acquaintances from high school, just eating cake, catching up, and playing taboo. I forget how much I enjoy just being in the presence of good people, even though we may never have had the chance to become good friends in the past. I can’t explain the feeling. It was just simple contentment. I wasn’t hanging out with those I feel understand me completely, or know the deepest parts of me. I felt like we were just enjoying what we knew each other to be, and that was enough. Nothing monumental. I just found myself sitting there, taking it all in; being genuinely happy.

I have so much to do in these next two weeks before I can relax. Stress of my MT performance lingers in the back of my mind. Papers I’ve procrastinated on. The daunting thought of taking 24 units next quarter including two classes toward my double major. AHH. Life is just taking over. I think the insanity to come has made me realize the good in the here and now while being back home, and I’ve become increasingly grateful for it.

I’m off to sleep. Night, everyone.

Yesterday was a shitty day (excuse my french), but today I choose to be giddy. And productive. And smiley cyrus.

I'm just trying to make real life more like my dreams.